Beyond Parody II

That's it. Down tools. We're on strike. How can we be expected to write a parody blog under working conditions like this?

Tom Watson's monkey boys at Lib Dem Watch have now joined forced with UKIP to declare their outrage that the tiny bit of hard disk space that Jody Dunn's website lives on is in Germany. You'd think the internet had never been invented. You'd think Labour weren't proud defenders of the EU WHO CAUSED THIS FECKIN' BY-ELECTION BY SENDING MANDELSON OFF TO BRUSSELS! To do what? Promote EU trade! You'd think it was even vaguely interesting, rather than just deeply sad. Jesus wept!

You can almost see the tongues lolling out of their mouths as they type this drivel out. How are we supposed to realistically take the piss out of something so face-slappingly moronic as this? Point out that the software is from (gasp!) the US, and is used by both LDW and The Comical One himself? Point out that, in any case, it is open source and therefore not creating any jobs in Hartlepus? Point out that UKIP's blogs are on servers based in the US? Point out that... oh, never mind. We give up.

Seriously. We have some standards. Until you spotty oiks sort yourselves out and start basing your drooling rants on something vaguely resembling Planet Earth, We're going to do something more productive instead. Like point at you and laugh.

You have been warned.

The Authors.

More vicious lies!

I see the Liberaldem Infidel has a new weblog. What kind of a joke politician runs a weblog? Only self-serving, duplicitious, wicked people who spread lies, that's who!

You wouldn't find La'abour candidate Nadia Wright running a weblog, I can tell you.

The most vile and wicked aspect of this despicable blog is that it doesn't mention anything about politics. This is a disgrace! I hope she doesn't foolishly think that running an entire other website about politics lets her off the hook. This is a disgraceful, shameless act of dumbing down politics. I am disgusted! I can feel the bile rising in my throat!!!!

Elsewhere, I see that the "Birmingham Post" is claiming that I have admitted being sacked on this website. More wicked lies! I have only ever denied being sacked. Have they no shame?

Of course I was not the campaign manager in Hartlepool, and never was. And the fact that EVERY SINGLE NEWSPAPER IN THE COUNTRY thought I was was due to wicked infiltration by the Infidel. This is a disgrace.

Incidently, some people have commented that I am obsessed with the Liberaldems. This is more rubbish spread by them. In fact, just to prove it, I have put up an article on my other weblog and not mentioned them once. The fact that it was inspired by a news item about the Liberaldems is a mere coincidence, I can assure you.

Wicked, vile censorship!

As many long-time readers will know, I am a big exponent of getting MPs to set up hate sites dedicated to exposing the Liberaldem Infidel for the evil scum they are. It pains me therefore to learn that many MPs are afraid of doing so because they have shamelessly and mercilessly attacked me on my weblog.

It is true I have been the subject of many vile and wicked attacks in my dogged pursuit of the truth - this is the way of the wicked infidel. They are attempting to censor me!!! Perhaps La'abour should ban them from using the internet in order to protect freedom of speech.

It is dreadful, I do not think I can stand it much longer! Poor, poor Tommy.

Secret plot exposed!!!

The Liberaldem Infidel have hatched a wicked plot with the Conservatives!!! And possibly Al-Qaeda, maybe.

I tell you, if the people of Hartlepus are fooled into voting for the Liberaldems, Michael Howards tanks will be rolling into town before they know what has happened. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!

Now I can reveal that the dangerously left wing policies they have been supporting, such as repealing the death penalty for drug addicts and ending the practice of dismembering graffiti louts, has been a wicked ploy to hide their dangerously right wing policies of closing down all hospitals and killing pensioners. They are a disgrace. And they will say anything to get elected as well!!!

We will throw them out of town!

Disaster will befall traitors of La'abour.

I have just returned from a few days of watching the Cornish Olympics. While I was there, I had a chance to visit Boscastle which has recently been destroyed by floods. Many thousands have died, and millions more would have done if it wasn't for La'abour Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott manly stepping into the breach and demonstrating his superb kayaking skills. I can tell you, if anyone deserves a gold medal, it is him!

I am disappointed that the appallingly pro-Liberaldem media have failed to mention that North Cornwall has a Liberaldem MP. This is a judgement from God, I promise you. Even now, I understand the people of Leicester South are preparing for an onslaught of locusts, while Brent East is caught up in the grip of a famine that has never been seen before. I wouldn't bet on the first born of Romsey living through the winter either, I can tell you.

It is clear to see which way God will be voting in the Hartlepus by-election. People of Hartlepus - do you dare disappoint him!?!?

Clarification

I feel I should clarify some of my previous statements.

There are two types of junkies: evil, wicked monsters who should be flogged, thrown in prison and never released - the type that amoral Liberaldem lawyers disgracefully defend in court, and the sons of senior La'abour politicians, who deserve to be treated with compassion and respect.

I hope that clears up any confusion. Thank you.

More hospital lies!

Our enemies continue to spread lies about La'abour's plans for Hartlepus Hospital. This is unacceptable!

The Liberaldem Infidel might try to get their wicked spin doctors from London to twist the facts, but this is the naked truth: we are not closing Hartlepus Hospital - we are simply moving it somewhere else. It is a disgrace to pretend this is in any way a controversial idea!

I give you this solemn pledge. As you may know, the La'abour candidate, Nadia Wright, is pregnant. She will be having her fourth child in Hartlepus Hospital - whether it is open or not. This I swear.