Liberaldems force children to eat drugs! True!

Earlier today, I saw liberaldem activists wandering around in Hartlepus forcing children and animals to eat drugs. It is true I tell you.

This is just typical of the depths that the liberaldems have sunk. The city is covered with their graffiti and they beat up old women. They're mothers are whores, and sons of whores.

The Labour have a simple policy on drug abusers - we will lock them away and throw away the key! They are worse than vermin - everyone can see that. It is common sense policies like that that make Tony Blair the conqueror that he is. All praise him!

Liberal dogs cower in fear!

Today I visit the sacred town of Hartlepus. Many Liberal dogs are threatening to come to this holy city and desecrate our New Labour heritage. Let them come! We will hit them with shoes and send them packing like the dogs they are, just as we did in Birmingham Hodge Hill.

How they cower! Dogs! We will dance on their graves!

The glorious victory in Hodge Hill

Let me tell you, the victory in Hodge Hill was truly historical! Never before has a political party won such a tremendous victory against a dreadful foe.

On the day of the by-election, I saw liberaldem activists running away from their HQ screaming in fear! Truly we struck a mighty blow against the infidel that day.