And the winner is...

Yes!!! I can exclusively reveal to you who the La'abour candidate for Hartlepus is to be.

After a whittling it down to a shortlist of four, the returning officer Davina McCall has announced that the winner is...

Nadia!!!

Nadia Wright is a Councillor in Hartlepus. A native Hartlepese, she is married with three children. Three REAL children. Not the fake ones you might see in Liberaldem Infidel literature. Real children, I swear!

She won see selection with 78% of the votes! 3.9 million Hartlepus members voted for her! Contrary to the lies of the infidel, La'abour remains a strong party with literally billions of members. We are loved by the people of Hartlepus!

I always said the Hartlepus La'abour candidate must be a woman. And see - we have elected a woman!!! This is exactly as I foretold, you must believe me.

(Incidently, although I have pledged not to say rude things about the Liberaldem candidate, I think she used to be a man).

Nadia's first act as Hartlepus candidate is to go rustle up a posse and drive the Liberaldem Infidel out of town! This is what the good, pouting, gorgeous people of Hartlepus have demanded and this is what they will get!