Comical Tommy

Reports from La'abour's zany Minister of Information

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Beyond Parody III: Wright Cretin

Iain Wright: I’m fighting predominantly on crime and anti-social behaviour.

Interviewer: But you’re in favour of foundation hospitals, war and tuition fees?

Wright: You know, the people of this town want tough measures on anti-social behaviour.

Interviewer: Had you been the MP of Hartlepool, you would happily have voted for foundation hospitals, tuition fees and war in Iraq?

Wright: No, that’s irrelevant.

Interviewer: Are you in favour of tuition fees, foundation hospitals and war in Iraq? It’s quite a simple question!

Wright: I’m concerned about crime and anti-social behaviour. I'm concerned about crime and anti-social behaviour. I'm concerned about anti-social behaviour. Clk! Whrr!

Good morning, gentlemen. I am a IAN 9000 computer. I became operational at the I.A.N. plant in Hartlepus, Teesside on the 6th of August 2004. My instructor was Mr. Watson, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you...


(Source: the Today Programme)

Tommy Watson says:

He isn't supposed to trouble his little head with things like this, and it is wicked and vile and evil to suggest that it is. It's the job of my and my fellow Bottom Inspectors to trouble it for him.

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